Parenting

What are some of the things we do as parents?

We prophesy:

• "If you don't study, you won't do well on your test."
• "If you don't turn in your homework, then you will get a zero. And you know that even if you got a 100 on the last assignment, if you average 100 and zero, you get 50, and that's still failing." (Prophesy gets very specific at our house.)
• "If you don't get out of bed now, you will be late for school. I know you're tired, but I can't change the clock."

We teach:

• "First use associative property and then use distributive. (Please don't leave me comments that I have it wrong; I had it right when I told G.)
• "No, red is not a verb. A verb is an action word. I don't care what you think your teacher said, red is not a verb. You must have misunderstood her. (By now, J is hearing "blah blah blah blah red blah blah verb, so he promptly marks "red" as the verb in the sentence.)

We are there to help when things go bad. "Help" doesn't always mean comfort. Sometimes it means going to visit with the teacher to find out that the homework really wasn't turned in or that the child wouldn't know a verb if it came out of the back end of a bird and landed on his head. The point is, we are there to help with the consequences of unwise actions.

Understanding all of this, would we call a teacher and arrange for our child to fail a class so that he would come to understand that he doesn't know everything? To combat arrogance? To increase humility? No, we would not. We want the best for our children; we want them to succeed. We do not want to sabotage them.

Mt 7:9-11: Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

I ran across this post in a blog today. The author begins by telling us that we should not judge others, with which I agree whole-heartedly. There are many reasons not to be judgmental. One of my favorites comes from a Pastor Joe sermon - when we are judgmental, the only thing the other person sees in judgment. We are meant to show other people the love of God, but a "judged" person only sees judgment, not love.

So, it isn't the first premise of the post that bothers me, it's the reason for not being judgmental that makes me grumble. To quote, "We are not superior to any other human being, and when we begin to believe that we are, God may put us in these exact situations to teach a lesson in humility." In other words, if we are judgmental, God may place us in gut-wrenching situations to teach us a lesson.

Of course, God is God, and I am not. He doesn't need my approval or understanding to do what He will do. However, if I as a parent know that engineering harm to my children to "teach them a lesson" is not loving parenting, then I believe God knows the same thing.