For Me Alone

I was in the lab today, close to time to go home. I was cleaning the equipment that I had used for my experiment, relaxing in the solo-ness of the afternoon. Everyone who bops in and out of the lab during the day -- fellows, resident-wanna-be -- had gone home. It was just me, my CD player, and my icky (soon-to-be clean) equipment.

For reasons that I might explain in a later blog (if I decide it's not too boring) I only play Christians music in the lab when I am enjoying solo-ness. So, for the last hour of the day, I was cleaning and listening to WOW 2005. This song came on, and it stopped me in my tracks -- er -- mid-wash. It's called Sea of Faces, and is sung by Kutless:

See the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care

And in Your eyes I can see
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love

And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man with a reason
To willingly offer your life

I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Just one in a million faces

Go back and read the verse in blue. It's the one that had me going over to my desk and playing the song again. I've always understood and believed that the God gave his son for all of us -- for me, for you, for the guy on the corner. All of us. But that's not what this verse says. "If only my heart was all you'd gain from all it cost..." He loves me so much that he would die on a cross for me -- for me alone. If I were the only one lost, he would have done it out of love for just me. Have you ever thought of that? He would have died for you alone. He loves the guy on the street corner so much, that he would have died for him -- and only him.

How long have I been a Christian? Forever...as long as I can remember. And yet, I had never thought of it like that before.