Life Note

Just a quick life note. You may have noticed that over the past few weeks, I haven't been posting as regularly, and that my posts, when I do upload them, are more photo orientated than words.

Mom had surgery a couple of weeks ago. It went well; the outcome was good, and her recovery has been at her home instead of in residential rehab, which is a good thing, and what she wanted. I'm amazed at how well she is doing. That said, it does mean that when I sit down to blog, I don't always have any inspiration. I've set aside the idea of taking classes for the time being (classes often provide blog inspiration) and my reading of spiritual development books has been slow. Plus, I sit down to work on the blog, and I just ... well ... don't. So I get up and walk away.

That said, I have gone back and filled in some blanks. I'm using the Lent Photo-a-day challenge from the United Methodist Church to write some posts. I like those - I look through my image gallery to see what connection the word inspires and post those.  If all goes to plan, those will replace my Friday Perspectives posts for the rest of Lent. If all goes to plan, the other posts will be my regular "thoughts" posts.

I'm reading a new book (for me) called An Unlikely Lent by Rachel Billups. I might not have chosen this to read, but my pastor did and is using it to lead a Lenten study at my church. I'm not able to attend the study, but I like to read what the class is reading, so I've picked it up. I say I wouldn't have chosen it, because I wouldn't have run across it, but I very much like it.  You'll see some upcoming posts inspired by it.

Also, I spent some time at the end of last year updating my library of blog images. I keep a Dropbox of images to use on the blog, ready for posting. These are often from our travels around the state and country.  Once I post them, I move them out of the Dropbox to avoid using them more than once. The stock of images was getting kind of low, so it has been renewed.

I hope you are having a blessed Lent and look forward to Easter with great joy.

 

New Camera

Last year, I bought a new camera. I was motivated to do so because my old camera just wasn't taking very good pictures. Never mind that I have an iPhone that takes excellent images.

I bought a full-frame, mirrorless Nikon Z5 II camera. One day last fall, I took it out for a walk.

Perspectives: Christmas Tree

 Yes, the tree is still up.  

Where the Road Goes

In the book Voices of Advent, Matthew Skinner writes about what it would have been like for Joseph, with so many unasked and unanswered questions. And yet Joseph followed God anyway.

Skinner writes:

[Obedience to God] involves says, "I don't know what this road is going to be like or if my journey will be easy or agonizing, but I'm going to walk it." Sometimes we know - or we think we know - the destination where a road will take us, but nonetheless the journey from point A to point B is usually much less clear.

Each year I teach a series of classes for those seeking certification as Certified Lay Ministers. They start, and sometimes even finish, the class series not knowing where God is calling them to go or what God is calling them to do. I think that is OK. We don't have to know; we just have to follow the next right step.

Skinner writes, "You don't have to have it all figured out before you begin. You don't have to know the solutions. Just take the next best step. It's a long road."

New Year. New Beginning

I've posted this before, but it is a good way (for me) to think about starting a new year. I hope your new year is blessed and joyful.

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow (and 2026) is a new day (or year); begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day (or year) is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays. (Ralph Waldo Emerson with parenthetical additions by me).

Complicated feelings

Yesterday, I posted thoughts about my dad.  

I remember, when Steve and I were getting married, that Judy (my soon to be mother-in-law) told me how lucky I was to have had a father in my life.  I'm not sure what happened to her father, but he was not in her life.

Dad was in mine, although not in the same way that fathers are usually in their children's lives. He was, truthfully, mainly an absent presence. My thoughts about him are not simple - they are complicated.

That's OK - whose relationships aren't complicated? 

I think it is OK to feel what you feel - to realize that feelings are what they are. And move on from there. 

Thoughts about Dad

 

I mentioned earlier that my dad died in June.  I was asked to send thoughts to be shared at his funeral.  This is what I sent:

My parents were divorced when I was very young, so for most of my life, I have not lived in the same state as Dad.  Even so, he always made intentional efforts to stay connected.  I remember writing letters and going on trips with him as a child and visits together all through my life.  He came to my graduations, walked me down the aisle at our wedding, and celebrated milestones in our children's lives. I remain grateful for his love and already miss him. 

Grateful

I mentioned on Monday that my mother had two surgeries in June. During one of those surgeries, while I was in the surgical waiting room, I overheard a conversation between two other waiting family members. 

They were upset that their family member's surgery had been postponed to a later time in the day, necessitating that they spend a longer amount of time in the waiting room than they had planned for. They were from out of town, so when the surgery was complete, and the patient finished with recovery, they would get a late start on the drive back home.

They were not happy, and their unhappiness was very loud.

It made me think about the woman who was waiting for her surgery to start. I'm sure she was afraid and unhappy, and at the end of the day, when her family was home, she would have been through surgery and had to start recovery.

It seems like - even though I understand the impatience of the waiting family - that their day was not the worst it could have been. 

We do that sometimes, I think. We lose our empathy, and we live in our complaints. At the end of a Thursday in June, when I was dealing with the emergency surgery for one parent and the death of the another, I was still able to go home with my husband. We need to remember that living in our complaints can be crushing.  Where can you be grateful today?

Blog Pause and Return

 Hello, all,

I have been absent from the blog for a little while.  

In June, my mom had major surgery on a Monday and then emergency surgery on a Thursday. On that same Thursday, my father died.  

I decided I needed to step back for just a little bit in order to have the time to handle what I needed to do (mainly care for Mom; my father's death "aftermath" is the responsibility of his second family).  One of the items I could "pause" was my blog posting. I set a goal to be back to three times a week in August. 

So I'm back, and I hope to stay back.

Perspectives

The last two weeks have been a little bit hectic, and I've missed posting. I've gone back and added some posts dates in those two weeks, but with transparency, I'm letting you know that they are backdated. 

One week is images from Annual Conference, and then I added some regular posts to the next week.  

I should be back on track for now. 

Birthday

Today is my birthday.

I have a District Committee on Ministry meeting (which is fine), and today is my biennial CLM interview.

I think I'll take today off from posting, but here is a nice picture to enjoy.

Merry Christmas!

 I've never posted a video before without embedding it from YouTube; I hope it works.  Either way, I wish you and yours a very blessed Christmas and a Joyous New Year.

National Relaxation Day

 According to my Facebook Planner page (that I use to schedule Facebook posts for my church) tomorrow, August 15, is National Relaxation Day.  It was originally proposed by a 9-year old from Ohio. As I planned the week for my church's Facebook page, I wondered if a post about this day would be appropriate.  I often post information graphics - like the week's schedule, invitations to events and worship, and opportunities for mission. Sometimes I post items that are just for fun, such as a National Relaxation Day post.

Each day, I list a few things for which I am grateful.  Often there are items that get repeated, such as an evening at home, a fun night out, or time to relax. I think our natural rhythm needs to include relaxation. I think Sabbath is confirmation of that.

So, tomorrow, take a few minutes (or a few hours) to relax. Renew. Recharge.  It will be a day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it.

At the Funeral

I attended a funeral today. In one of the family pews, there was what I imagine was a father, mother, young daughter and her older brother.  You know (and maybe you don't do this) how when you watch people in the park or the airport, you can make up stories about them? This is what I did at the funeral

I watch the mom and her two children.  The son (older child) was very upset, so she picked up her daughter, who was sitting between them, and put her on her lap so that she could move next to the son to comfort him.  The daughter didn't like that, and moved off her mom's lap to sit in the space in the pew where the mom had been.  When the mom tried to put her arms around both of the kids, the daughter picked up her mom's arm and moved out from under it.  This continued for a while with the mom hugging the daughter, the daughter hugging back, and then moving away (and looking away) from her mom. 

It reminded me of the story of the older son in the prodigal son parable.  The mother was trying to provide comfort for both children, but one of them seemed to be resentful to share the mom's attention with the other sibling.

Please remember, I know what I thought about the family isn't real - it's a story in my mind. 

 

Always a great day?

A donor called me the other day to talk about his accounts. I not sure why he thought I sounded down, but he said, “Are you having a good day?”  I assured him I was (and I was truthful - it was a fine day).  He told me that I should remember that every day is a good day because God is in it.

I talked to him a few days later, and he told me the same thing.

I’ve thought about those conversations since then.  Is every day a good day because God is in it? Don’t get me wrong - I think God is in every day, and there is a certain goodness in the day because of that, but there are days that are terrible.  Horrible.  There are days that are blah. There are days that are sad or lonely.

God is in all of them, and God brings us through the terrible, horrible, blah, sad, and lonely days as well as the good ones. It seems to me that calling every day “good” can ignore the truth of the day. Sometimes acknowledging the truth of the day pulls back the curtain for us to see and experience God.

I’m ever so thankful for the days where the presence of God is real and visible in the greatness of the day. And I’m grateful for the presence of God when the day is lousy.  

 

New York New York

A fun thing, and something a little different for the blog.

A few weeks ago, our son, Josh, who is a Director of Bands for a high school in Nevada, took his wind ensemble to New York to perform at Carnegie Hall for the National Band and Orchestra Festival.

We decided that this was something we could not miss, so over the Easter weekend, we traveled to New York City, enjoyed some sight seeing and good food, and went to Carnegie Hall to see Josh direct.

I have been to lots of large cities, but never New York City, so it was something different for me. Here are my impressions:

• The City is sensory overload. There are always bright, colorful things to see; there are sounds all the time; you can smell many different thing (not all of them good); some of the smells are so loud that you can taste them; as for touch - there are a lot of people - you feel cramped.
• Everything we ate was great.
• Everything we bought was expensive.
• We didn't have enough time to see much, but we did go to Rockefeller Center (and went to the Top of the Rock), St. Patrick's Cathedral (beautiful), the Public Library (where a mean lady works), Central Park, and Carnegie Hall. We were there a day and a half.
• The subway, which we rode twice, is not as friendly or nice as the Washington DC subway. They need maps.
• One is charged a congestion fee during rush hour and at 5 in the morning (with no congestion) when one takes a taxi.
• I do not want to drive there.
• Hats off to the bus drivers.

Steve and I love to travel together, and this was a great experience.  I'm so glad we went.

 

Extro-activities

As I mentioned in a previous post, the weekend I'm writing this post I'm sponsoring the Level Up Conference to encourage churches to reach out in new ways to new places.  

What I want to write about this morning, though, isn't about this specific conference. It happens everywhere. This morning, one of the presenters, at the beginning his talk, asked everyone to turn to the person next to them, give them a high five, and say "Let's Level Up." 

I'm an introvert.  That doesn't mean I'm shy. It doesn't mean I don't want to be around people. It doesn't mean I don't have social skills.  I do - I like people, I like to talk to people. I like to do public speaking. I have social skills.  The difference between me and an extrovert is that all of that takes energy for me to do all of that, and an extrovert gains energy from all of that.  In order to continually do "people" time, I need to invest time in alone time.  I gain energy from being away from people.

Ok, with that background in  mind,  why do you think someone would have those gathered turn to their neighbor and give them a "high-five?"  I don't know - I"m not a much sought after public speaker😉 - but I imagine he does it to raise the energy level in the room. It makes me wonder if he is an extrovert 

For me, requests from speakers such as this one only cause anxiety and loss of energy.  The same thing that be said when a leader wants us to sing with hand motions, or go find a "partner" (read stranger) and have a deep discussion about faith.  I am calling them, as of today, "extro-activities."  It seems counterproductive to the speaker's intention.  And I don't like them.  I dread them.

Am I the only person who feels that way?

PS - Ironically  enough, while I was writing this, sitting at a quiet table, another sponsor, who obviously needed anther person, came by and sat with me for 1/2 an hour or more.  He needed the energy he gets from talking to others.  

Refuse to See

I'm reading a book by Julie Salamon called Rambam's Ladder: A meditation on Generosity and Why it is Necessary to Give.  In it, she tells a story of riding the subway with her daughter.  She is seated next to two young, white men and an older black man with a cane.  An elderly couple is also riding the train, "and they didn't appear to be all that hardy." 

Salamon asks the two young men sitting next to her if they would give their seats to the elderly couple.  The two men glanced at the older couple and ignored them.  The older, seated man, started to stand up.  "Not you," (Salamon) said.  "I meant them," and pointed at the other two men.

The men looked perplexed, but finally stood up for the older couple to take a seat.  Having seen what had happened, another woman said, "Bravo....It always amazes men when they do that....Refuse to see."

Salamon, in her experience, thinks it is the most privileged who are "the most insular."

I know there are times when I do that - refuse to see.  Maybe I walk to the other side of the street, or I hope my car doesn't get stopped next the man with the sign asking for money, or ignore the people standing on the train who could use my seat.  It's easier on my selfish side if I refuse to see. 

Don't you think refusing to see is harder on our spiritual side? On our growth toward perfection? I need to open my eyes more. 

 

Hear the Corollary

I was in a meeting the other day.  A woman was talking about her experience as her husband was sick. She said that many people were praying for his healing, as she was, but that God has answered their prayers with “no.” Her husband had died. She had found God’s presence afterwards and was grateful for it.  Another person in the meeting told her that she should consider God’s response to the prayers as a compliment - that God was responded the way God did because she was strong in her faith and was able to persevere.

I said in the meeting that my theory is that sometimes bad things happen, and that God never says “no” to us; that God always answers “yes” with God’s presence. Horrible things happen, but God never abandons us in the suffering. I didn’t say, but I will tell you, that I call this my “sh*t happens” theory.

I believe this because the corollary to the other theory - that the woman’s experience was a compliment to her from God - is horrible to contemplate. Do you hear the opposite? That if her faith had been less strong, if she had been less strong, that God would have healed her husband? I won’t and can’t believe that.

I think the same thing when someone says, “God has been good to me, and has healed me from my illness. God must have plans for me yet.” I’m sure God does have plans for everyone. That said, imagine how someone who has lost someone to a car accident or an illness must hear that kind of faith.  I think they would hear the corollary: God didn’t have plans for your loved one, so God allowed him or her to die.

What may sound comforting to us would be horribly painful to someone in a different circumstance. 

Perspectives: Unexpected

We went to Canaan Valley State Park last weekend.  It was the first weekend of April. I didn't expect snow. It was fine - the roads were fine, but isn't it just like life to not go as we think it will?