Whose Funeral?

“That’s my instruction for my funeral,” said Rachel. “Now listen, the only hope I have is the relationship you and I have. I don’t have any kids or near relatives to interfere so how my funeral is done is completely up to you. I’ve already called Jake down at the funeral home. He knows you’re in charge. You’ll follow those instructions; won’t you?” (From a story on the Questing Parson).

I was at a funeral on Saturday. Part of the message that the minister delivered involved a story of how he had met with the person who had died, and how she (the deceased) had shared with him her wishes for her funeral.

Don’t get me wrong – it was a well planned and spiritual memorial service. In fact, during the service, I leaned over to Steve, and said, “If you used these four hymns at my memorial service, I would be happy – except the first one. Use Be Thou My Vision instead.”

My question is this – Who is a funeral for? Is it for the person who died? Or is it for those who remain, who mourn the death? If we believe that life goes on, that we have been given eternal life (or if we don’t believe that) then what the rationale for the person who has died to plan the funeral?

I’m being facetious, but I do wonder. I know that families want to follow the wishes of the one who has died. It’s respectful and perhaps it serves the purpose of relieving the mourning family of planning the service, which is a good thing. So go for it, and plan your funeral. Just don’t do it under the false belief that once you have died, you are going to care in the least about the service that celebrates your life. You’ll be too busy basking in the presence of God!

Image: Sunset from the Target hill on Saturday.