The More We Trust Him

Part of my job sometimes involves developing X-ray film. To do that I have to go into a darkroom in the medical school next door where the film processor is. This room is about the size of a closet -- maybe 6 x 6 feet -- and it has a revolving "tube door." To enter the room, you step into a tube, turn the wall of the tube so that the outside is closed off, and then you can step into the little room -- the little, completely dark as the inside of a cow room. Step in, and then flip on the lightswitch.

There's something scary about a completely dark room. I know that no one is in that room, and yet someone COULD be in the room -- or maybe a research associate-eating giant mutant bat has taken up residence on the ceiling. YOU NEVER KNOW. I hate the two steps from the door to the light switch.

What role does fear play in our walk with God? Ortberg says that fear and trust are in opposition as we work to "step out of the boat." He thinks that fear is the number one reason why people stay in their nice, safe boats rather than risking the trip out on the water. God is telling us to trust Him, and we are countering that request with all of the fearful reasons why that is not such a good idea. We have to choose whether trust or fear will win.

Look at this line from The More song:

And the more I know You, the more I need You
The more I love You, the more You become to me
Ortberg makes an important point -- one that I think we often miss. We often allow fear to win because we think that the cost of trust -- or the consequences of failure -- are too high a price to pay. We often fail to realize that giving into fear has its own cost. The more we allow fear to win, the easier it is for fear to win the next time. Once we trust, then we learn that God is trustworthy. Our willingness to trust is increased each time we learn more about the trustworthiness of God. Each time fear wins, our opinion of ourselves is decreased. We think, more and more, that we can't handle the big steps (or the small ones). We get an image of ourselves that is one of fearfulness. The cost of giving into fear is that it changes our view of ourselves. The reward of trusting God is that we come to know him better -- His trustworthiness is made known to us.

I read somewhere, and maybe it was Ortberg's book, but I can't remember, that we often think that we need more faith. We don't need more faith (remember the mustard seed?). We need to know God more. And maybe the only way we can do that is to learn to trust Him, in spite of our fears.

Last January, Jeff the Methodist sent an email to our Sunday school class (Can I just say I love having 2GB of email storage? I never have to delete an email) about a view of heaven.

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing. I know my Master is there and that is enough."

May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

The last lines of the chapter "Crying out in Fear" from Ortberg's book:

But whatever you do in faith,
every time you trust me,
Whenever you act in risky obedience and jump in response to my invitation --
That you will have forever.
Go ahead and jump.
The more we know him, the more we'll trust him, the more we'll love him, the more he'll become to us.

Image: Image of the "tube door." The tape arrow on the inside says "Turn this way to avoid jams." You know, I always follow that direction. Apparently, someone else has had bad experiences in the room -- there is now a paper towel sign inside on the wall that says, "DO NOT place chair in front of door." Yes, please. The other photo is the best I could do for the inside of the cow -- red dark room light.