Certainty and Doubt

A few Sundays ago, I preached a sermon based on the "Doubting Thomas" passage of scripture in John 20:19-31.  The sermon's message was about faith - how faith is more than belief in doctrine, but is trust in God. I worried about the sermon which didn't go in the direction I would want a "Doubting Thomas" sermon to head - that doubt is OK, and is part of our faith. I don't think it was a sermon that said the opposite of that - that doubt is wrong, but I'm not sure it was affirming of that, either - because that wasn't its purpose, but still....

I'm reading Wholehearted Faith, written by Rachel Held Evans with Jeff Chu and published after her death in 2019.  I've always loved her books, but have put off reading this one because - well - because I miss her, and I knew this book would in some ways, make me sad.  But I picked it up last week, and it's wonderful so far (and makes me a little sad).

Today I read this:

"Those who believe that they believe in God, with without any passion in their heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God-Idea, not in God Himself," wrote the Spanish novelist and intellectual Miguel de Unamuno.  In other words, certainty isn't faith. And faith is marked by the humility to let yourself question - which is not a shortcoming but an acknowledgement of one's humanity.  Implicit in that assessment is the conviction that God makes room for our questions and for our humanity, that God is not some legalistic taskmaster, but instead the source of grace.

If I had read this chapter even a couple of weeks earlier, I probably would have included this quote.  It not only fits the message of the sermon - "certainty isn't faith" - but also gives the assurance that doubt it an integral and integrated part of faith.

This is part of how we love God with our whole mind, I think.

 

Doubt

Still thinking about Terry's sermon (I posted about it yesterday)....

I wonder if Nicodemus understood Jesus during their nighttime conversation that was reflected in John 3?  Does bringing the spices to the tomb after the crucifixion reflect the possibility that his faith was not changed?  Or that he had questions about what Jesus had told him?

It's important to remember that part of the reason for the converstion in John 3 was to allow John the place for us to hear the questions Nicodemus had - and that we, as readers, might have.  And to hear Jesus' answer for them.

And then we have Nicodemus, coming with Barnabas to the tomb, bringing spices to prepare the body after death.  A body that we know - from this side of the Bible - won't be there.  Should Nicodemus have known that?

And what does it matter?  

My thoughts around this question dance with the idea that it doesn't matter.  Nicodemus went to the tomb.  Whether he completely believed or understood Jesus or not, he went to the tomb.

Whether we understand or not - whether we fully believe or not - the action of coming to Jesus is what is important. The truth is that we will never fully understand God - if you think you do, you are kidding yourself.  The truth is that doubt is OK. Prevenient grace was made for doubt, don't you think? 

 Doubt should never be a barrier to God.  

Luke 1:10-20 - Doubt

I taught a Sunday school lesson during the first week of Advent that I based on the first chapter of the book, "Light of the World: the Meaning of Memory" by Amy-Jill Levine.  I'm going to use parts of that lesson for my next three blog posts.  This is based on Luke 1:10-20.  

Doubt.  Zechariah expressed doubt when Gabriel finished his announcement.  “How will I know  that this is so? For I am an old man, and my wife is getting on in years.”  The angel replied “I am  Gabriel.  I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you  this good news. But now, because you did not believe my word, which will be fulfilled in their  time, you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur.”

What do you think about this passage?  Is Zechariah being punished for doubt? 

Is doubt a sin?  

Think about when the angel announced to Mary that she would bear the son of God.  Mary asked almost the same  question, and she wasn't struck mute.

Levine writes, “I imagine that at this point, words failed Zechariah.  He was terrified and  traumatized.  Everything for which he had prayed will come to pass, but he is stuck between  belief and doubt.  What at this point can he say?

What is the role of silence in our relationship with God?

Are there times when you allow for silence intentionally?

Two Things to Compare

Two things to compare:

On Sunday a couple of weeks ago, the Bishop pointed out in our worship service that when Jacob responded to God, he said, "If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God,..."  (Genesis 28:20b-21)

What she wanted us to see was the If.  The sentence begins with If. It is a sign of doubt.  Jacob is stepping out in faith. "A faith that begins with if is looking for God - expects an encounter with God."

Compare it to this, which I read on Facebook on the way home:

A friend wrote a beautiful post about the presence of God in Florida during the shooting. Someone replied that it "is difficult to believe in a diety..." and then went on to discuss how the faithful can be hypocritical. Someone else replied and told him (the commenter) that he needed to be baptized and then all would become clear.  The commenter asked how the man knew that he hadn't been and did go to church.  The reply: "By your comments and wavering faith! Those how have been saved and truly believe do not waiver in their faith in god above!"

I have to say that the Bishop's words ring more true to me that the words of the man who answered the commenter.

Doubts and questions are only a sign of growth. Without them we are stagnant, assuming we know everything (we don't) and that God is only as we believe God to be (God isn't). 

Gideon, Part 4

This week has been a reply of my notes for a Sunday School lesson I taught at Annual Conference using Judges 6:11-18.  Today's post concerns our discussion regarding application of what we can learn from the scriputre.

Fear:  Gideon and the Israelites were living in constant fear.  Think about it for a moment - what is it like to live in constant fear?  Can you think of a place in the world where the people live in constant fear? Has your safety and/or security ever been threatened? How did you respond?  This is a sidenote, but I wonder if understanding what it is like to live in fear or to have your security threatened can help increase our kindness to other people who are experiencing life like that.

Abandonment: Gideon has grown up with stories told about how God rescued the Israelites from Pharaoh through the work of Moses. He has heard about God working through Joseph in Egypt. He has heard great stories about God doing wonderful, fantastic, unbelievable things.  And Gideon wonders – has God abandoned us? Why would God do that? Have you ever been in a difficult situation and felt like God had abandoned you? Can you imagine that people would feel that way?

Doubt: Gideon experiences doubt. He doubts that God is present with them in their current circumstances, and he doubts that God is calling the right person – so he is doubting God’s abilities. What do you think about doubt? Is it a sin? Is it a natural part of faith? I think doubt is evidence that we are exploring our faith deeply – I think doubt is the growing pain of sanctifying grace – in order to mature in our faith, we have to ask God and our faith questions. I think we can trust God enough to bring God our doubts. When have you experienced doubt? Do you doubt your ability to answer God’s call? Do you find doubt in your faith? Does Gideon’s doubt help you relate to him?  How does God respond to Gideon’s doubt? with patience or impatience? How will God respond to your own doubts? How should we respond to other people’s doubts?

Why?: One of the most difficult questions we struggle with is why bad things happen to people who we judge to be good people? What are some of the ways that people answer that question?  If God makes good things happen to people who are believers, then what does that say to a faithful disciple who experiences terrible tragedy?  I worry that we steal people’s faith from them when we say things like, “God needed another flower in his garden.” The logical step from that is that God made my child sick and let him die in order to have another flower – we throw terrible blame on God when people need God the most.

Call: What does verse 14 say to us? “you have strength, so go and rescue Israel from the power of Midian. Am I not personally sending you?”

1. Do we hear in this verse an answer to part of our question about why bad things happen? Do we hear in this that we have a role to play in God’s plan?
2. Think back to the feeding of the 5000. Jesus tells the disciples, “You give them something to eat.” And at the end of the story, the disciples see the baskets, still full. I think this is a lesson for them – the abundance that is in front of them, when they only saw scarcity. There is power in God that God uses to equip us for the work to be done.
3. We are the answer to people’s prayers.  Is there a flood story that could be told here?

God with us:  One of the things I took with me when I completed my Emmaus walk is that God will be with me, all the time - whatever he calls me to go, I will not have to do alone.  Do you believe that God is always with us?  Have you had an experience that confirmed this for you?

Call to ministry:  Do you have a call to ministry? Important distinction – everyone is called to ministry – not just pastors.  Who does God call? The perfect? The wonderful and powerful? Does God choose who we would choose if it was our responsibility?  What is God calling you to do? What is standing in your way of doing it?

Conclusions

As we leave this place, keep in mind verse 16. The God who spoke to Moses from the burning bush is the same God who called Gideon, even though Gideon was full of doubts. This is the same God who fed 5000 people amid the doubts and scarcity mindset of the disiples. This is I AM. This is your God; this God is always with you, even when you don’t “feel” it.  And I AM is calling you.

How will you respond?

Faith and Dbubt

The other day I was driving to Grafton to do a presentation for a church.  As I drove, I was listening to podcasts.  One of them was Ted Talk Radio.  Have you ever listened to a Ted Talk?  This particular podcast was called Believers and Doubters (I chose it because of its title) and it featured interviews with four people about their Ted Talks that related to the subject.

One of those interviewed was Anne Graham Lotz, the daughter of Billy Graham.  She reflected on her father's faith and lifelong devotion to God.  The interviewer asked her if her father ever had doubts about his faith.  She responded that there were none that he had ever expressed to her.  I thought from what she said that followed that answer that she believed he had not had doubts.

I don't know Billy Graham, and I don't know about what he might share with his daughter.  I can't speculate about his faith or her memory.  What I do believe, though, is that some people see doubt as a weakness - kind of the opposite of faith.

I have a different opinion. I think doubt is a part of faith.  It is through our doubts that grace works, and we are able to grow stronger in faith.  Doubt is not faith's opposite; doubt is faith's counterpart. Doubt is faith's companion, and we should be grateful for our doubts.  They are evidence of a reasoning mind, a questing mind.  Through our questions, our faith grows.

Don't be afraid of your doubts.  God is strong enough to help you grow through them.

Better than a Hallelujah

Road to Cooper's Rock

In reading a devotional today, I read a quote by Rodger Y. Nishioka.  He tells us that we have a foundational security that buildings are not supposed to collapse, floods are not supposed to happen and the earth is not supposed to shake, but as we live our lives, we come to know that that foundational security is not true.  We know floods happen, that the earth quakes and that buildings fall.  People die.  Friends leave. 

When that happens, we wonder about the ways of God.  We ask questions.  We doubt.  We struggle. 

I remember a pastor telling a story about his roommate who would yell at God at times like this.  Don't you think God can take it?  Don't you believe that God would rather hear your struggle, for in that struggle with God is the recognition that God exists.  It is a function of relationship to seek answers.  It strengthens who we are and it strengthens our connection to our creator. 

As the song goes, it's better than a hallelujah.

Doubt and Fear

The Hawkins book I am reading quotes Emily Dickinson. She says that "we both believe and disbelieve a hundred times an hour, and that keeps believing nimble."

Is there a benefit to doubt? It seems to me that the movement between disbelieving and believing would be like the stretching of a muscle, and that it would strengthen faith. Questioning, exploring, reaching, pulling away and coming back -- it would keep faith nimble, as Dickinson says. Doubt can result in growth.

Could it be that when someone believes we should not question God and that to doubt faith is just wrong is afraid that God will not be strong enough to withstand the testing? Could we step away from doubt out of fear?

Disbelief

Jack spoke about doubt last week in his sermon.  One of this week's lectionary readings is John 20:19-31 -- Thomas and his doubts.

I was reading RevGalBlogPals this evening -- Tuesday's lectionary leanings.  The author of the post mentions the word incredulity.  She said that it can imply an unwillingness to believe or an inability to believe.  I thought that was an interesting comparison.  Why do we doubt?  What motivates our disbelief?

• Does it sometimes seem impossible to believe in a risen Christ?  Is there an inability to believe?
• Do we refuse to really believe because we don't want to?  We don't want to accept the consequences of belief?
• Do we sometimes not believe because another possibility is easier to believe?
• Do we refuse to believe because to believe would be to lose control?
• Do we fail to believe because belief would make us unpopular?  Ridiculed?  
• Do we say we believe and yet we don't?
• Do we pick and choose what we believe?

Why do we not believe? 

PS -- You can tell how tired I was yesterday.  I entitled the post Random Tuesday.  It was Monday.