To hug or not to hug

We were at breakfast the other morning, waiting for a table at the Sea Captain's House. In front of us was a mother and grown daughter -- let's call the daughter "Alice." Later, in came another grown daughter, "Betty" and her boyfriend "Bob." Alice introduced Bob to the mom, Betty hugged mom, and then Alice said of Bob, "He's not a hugger."

Bob echoed, "That's right. I don't do that."

This morning, standing at the ocean, I started thinking about that. What is a "hugger?" I think a hugger is a person who is comfortable hugging those who are not a part of his/her family, and does it (hugging, that is) with abandon -- hug hug hug. What is a "non-hugger?" I think that there are those people who are uncomfortable being hugged, like Bob at the Sea Captain's House.

Are you a hugger? Or or do you not "do that?" Think about your church. Can you think of huggers in your church? I imagine that all churches have them.

Hang with me; I do have a point.

I don't think that I am a hugger or a non-hugger. Unlike Bob, I'm perfectly comfortable being hugged. I'm not always comfortable initiating a hug, unless I know that I am dealing with a hugger. I am more comfortable now with the whole "hugging" thing than I ever have been, and I think that I have been changed by the huggers in my church. There are some people I know who can't help it; they must hug. I think it is in their DNA, and I am glad for it.

And then there are those times when non-huggers break down and hug. Those times are even more special because you know the effort that went into the hug.

I asked Steve about this on the beach today. I was surprised when he told me he was a hugger. I mean, he hugs me all the time, but I'm surprised he's a hugger. When I think about it though, it's true. I asked him to list the huggers in our church. It surprised me that our lists are different. He listed people I wouldn't consider to be huggers. His list also didn't include the people I thought of being at the top of the hugger list.

What's the point of all this rambling? I wonder if agape love isn't like hugging. There are people who are comfortable with it -- who show love to other people without even thinking about it. There are those people in a church who just "don't do that." And then there are those opportunities to change people -- to touch them with love and transform them into people who know what love is, and how to do it.

We learn to hug by being hugged. We learn to love by being loved. When we show love, we are more likely to find it, because we are freeing people to be loving.

Go hug somebody. Go love somebody. Go be Christ to someone today.

Images: Purple flower from Tanger Outlet mall (same place as the yellow flowers with bees from the other day). Shoreline at sunset.