Walking outside the boat

 In 2008, I changed careers. I was hired as the Associate Director of The Foundation. My college and graduate training, and my career to that point had all been in the fields of biology and medicine, particularly research. The change to work at a foundation that focuses on legacy giving and stewardship was quite a leap.  At the time, I compared it, in my mind, to Peter, and how he stepped out of the boat to attempt to walk on the water in Matthew 14:22-33.

I don't mean that comparison to sound pretentious or overdrawn, but truly, for me, making this career switch had the feeling of embarking into a new land, a new field, where I knew nothing, other than faith and a sense of the purpose of the church. I truly relied (and continue to rely) on any gifts God had given me, even those that had nothing specific to do with the work I am doing now. I saw (and still see) ways the two fields relate to each other, but it is not direct or obvious.

At the time, I had recently read a book by John Ortberg called If you Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get out of the Boat. It inspired the metaphor in my mind - if I wanted to follow, to have faith, to trust in God, then I had to step out of the boat

As I read the Matthew passage today, it reminds me of that time, but what I noticed today is that Peter doesn't show a lot of fear when he steps out of the boat.  It was later, after he had left the boat and was actually walking on the water, that the fear - the realization - set in.

Beginnings do bring fear, and it is fear that we must work through, but we shouldn't think that from that point on, the water will be smooth, and there will not be encounters with that which frightens us. There will be.  It is necessary to keep the faith, to look to Jesus, and to continue to overcome the fear.

Perspectives: Bike on Ceiling

 

Seeing Mary Magdalene with Different Eyes

A couple of months ago I was beginning a browse of the current lectionary readings at Vanderbilt University - where I always go to find the current revised common lectionary passages.  It's a great site - I encourage you to use it if you don't already.

While there, I saw an announcement for a Vanderbilt Divinity Library Exhibit called Seeing Mary Magdalene with Different Eyes.  This is an in-person exhibit but is also well represented through this online version.

The online exhibit includes a video recording of the opening lecture, featuring Beth Maczka's research on the topic.  The lecture is less than 30 minutes long, but is very good.  I'm posting it here to encourage you to go view it.

As you do, think about Mary Magdalene, not a prostitute as she is so often portrayed, but actually the anointer (probably), a witness to the crucifixion, and a proclaimer of the resurrection. 

Mid-year Spiritual Development Book Review

Have you heard of the mid-year book freak out tag? It's a set of questions to help you review what you have already read in the first six months of the year and to plan the next six months.  It's usually done for ALL reading (and I did that on my Creativity blog), but I thought it could be interesting to do for my spiritual development/leadership reading on this blog.

• Best book you've read so far - This is difficult, because I've read some good books this year so far.  Let's go with The Gospel of John by Amy-Jill Levine.
• New release you haven't read this year but want to - I don't know of anything yet, but will keep my eyes open
• Most anticipated release for the second half of the year - I've already pre-ordered Genesis: A Beginner's Guide to the Beginning by Amy-Jill Levine.  It's coming August 4
• Biggest disappointment - Two of the books I read this year have been disappointing.  I was not as engaged in Invest in Transformation by Tod Bolinger as I was in his other books.  I had to soft DNF Sacraments and Discipleship by Mark Stamm; I did go back and finish it, but it was disappointing.
• Biggest surprise - I was really impressed by Rachel Billups' book, An Unlikely Lent: Extraordinary People of the Easter Story.  I'm not sure why I found that surprising, but I did.
• Favorite new author - One of my favorite books this year was Between a Rock and a Holy Place by Rev. Tom Nolan. It is a series of sermons - just excellent.  I supposed we can also add Rachel Billups to this list - I would read another of her books if the opportunity arose.
• Books you want to read by the end of the year - Right now I'm reading The Hope of Glory: Reflections on the Last Words of Jesus from the Cross by Jon Meacham. I hope to finish that in July.  In August, I'll work on reading the Amy-Jill Levine Genesis book.  Other than those two, I'm sure I'll pick something up during Advent to read. I purchased A Child is Born: A Beginner's Guide of Nativity Stories by Amy-Jill Levine but didn't find the time to read it. I think I'll add that to my Advent TBR.

My goal for 2026 was to read at least four Spiritual Development books.  I read five in the first half of the year, so maybe I can get to eight by the end of the year?

This link is to my online "Spiritual Development books" library - a list of the books I've read and reviewed (mainly) on the blog. I don't update it very often (although I do update it), so it might be behind.

 

Perspectives: Stained Glass Window Reflections

 

All the way to suffering...

 In An Unlikely Lent , Rachel Billups writes:

As Jesus hung on the cross, most of his followers had scattered. Gripped by fear they had fled to the shadows, unwilling to risk their lives for the man they once called Lord. But not the women. Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of Jesus, Mary the mother of Joseph and Joses, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Salome, stood at the foot of the cross, refusing to turn away. They had followed Jesus not just when it was easy...these women followed when it cost them everything. Their presence at the cross was an act of defiance against fear, a declaration that their love for Jesus was greater than their need for safety....they risked following him all the way to suffering, to sorrow, to the place where hope seemed lost.

I think about Jesus' male disciples who fled, I think about Peter who betrayed Jesus, I think about all of the times that I and others around me limit how far we will go. What are the limits of your discipleship? What stops you from following Jesus not only near the cross but to the cross? Fear? Selfishness? Desire for control? Laziness? Other commitments? What stops us from truly being the disciples that these women were?

Simon of Cyrene

 

Rachel Billups "An Unlikely Lent," the chapter about Simon of Cyrene serves as the inspiration for this post.

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 23:26:

As they led him away, they seized a man, Simon of Cyrene, who was coming from the country, and they laid the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.

Imagine the moment for Simon. We don't know a lot about him, but he is from Cyrene. Cyrene was an ancient Greek colony in Libya, near present-day Shahhat.  The straight line distance between the two locations is about 700 miles, if you travel across the Mediterranean.  The costal land route would have been even longer.

Imagine if Simon was a pilgrim, who had traveled that long distance (not in a plane, not in a car) to Jerusalem as a pilgrim for Passover. Or maybe he was just visiting, a part of the crowd. He's "seized" from the crowd and made to carry the cross. It seems to me that he would have been terrified.  Were these Roman soldiers who grabbed him? He was far from his home, if Cyrene is where he lived permanently, and now he is forced into a procession to an execution.

I wonder what Simon did when he reached Golgatha. Was he just glad to be rid of the burden of the cross? Did he exit the scene in relief? Or did he recognize something in Jesus that compelled him to stay and witness the crucifixion?

Where have I been?

 

And here we go - another "Where have I been" post.

This is a season in my life that is overshadowed by stress and responsibility. Since I was last posting on my blog, Mom was ill with both a serious intestinal issue and pneumonia. Just as she was recovering from that, she had a gall bladder attack that resulted in surgery. She is moving through recovery from that now. All of that has taken time and energy. Sometimes something has to give, and sometimes that something is my more creative (and not work-related) endeavors, such as this blog.

I hope that I'm back for a while, but one cannot predict.  Regular posts should start on Monday, July 20.

Lent Photo-a-Day: Carried

 

Palm Sunday Questions

I think there are always (or almost always) gaps in biblical stories. Today I was reading Matthew 21:1-11. This is the entry into Jerusalem. Some questions came to mind:

• Jesus sends two disciples into Jerusalem to find a donkey and a colt. Do the disciples question this? It seems like previously they would question everything. "What do you mean we'll find a donkey and a colt tied to something? Where? Tied to what? Why do you need them? Will we be arrested for stealing them? Did they ask these questions? Or did they just silently go into the city?
• Were they surprised to find the animals? Or did they just think, "That Jesus, he knows what he's talking about!"
• Did anyone question that they were taking them? "Hey stop, those aren't yours!"
• Whose animals were they? And why would the owner be satisfied with "The Lord needs them."? Are we missing an angelic visitation to an animal owner?
• The crowds greet him as a conquering hero. What happened to that attitude during the week? Later they are shouting to "crucify him." Same people? A different crowd?
• Did the people know that the prophet they speak of is more than a prophet - he is the Messiah? Do any of them believe it? 

Book Review: An Unlikely Lent

 Information about the book

An Unlikely Lent: Extraordinary People of the Easter Story by Rachel Billups. Published by Abingdon Press, Nashville, 2025. It is available from Amazon and Cokesbury, plus other retailers.

Summary

From Amazon: The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus are at the heart of the story of Easter. But the resurrection was not witnessed in isolation; it unfolded before a crowd. What might the stories of those women and men teach us today? How will they help us step into the story of Easter? Here, we can see what has been overlooked, not just in the grand moments but in the in-between: the silence, the side characters, and the questions.

Impressions

I found this to be an excellent study for Lent. Each chapter is focused on a different person or group of people in the Easter story, including Mary of Bethany, the servant girl near Peter when Jesus was on trial, Barabbas, Simon of Cyrene, the women at the cross, and Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus. I thought each chapter provide fresh insights into the person being studied as well as personal illustrations from the author. I highly recommend this book.

Posts about book

Link to posts on blog at Billups Lent

Lent Photo-a-Day - Blessed

 

A Servant Girl's Prayer

On Monday, I posted a reflection about Mark 14:66-72. In this passage, a female servant encounters Peter and asks him, "You were with Jesus, the man from Nazareth."  I started wondering about her. What would she have been thinking after that encounter. Was she a Jew? What would her prayers have been like?

Before you read this, know that I don't pretend to know how a Jewish girl of that time would have prayed, but for this prayer, I try to place myself in her shoes to think about what she would have thought.

Holy God, Today I spoke to a man. I don't know his name, but he was sitting in the courtyard as I was working. Something was going on in the with the high priests - they were trying a man from Nazareth. I know I saw the Courtyard Man with him, so I asked him about it.

Oh, God, he was so afraid. I can understand why. I've heard they want to put the Nazarene to death. Maybe they will want to kill the man I talked to, too.

Forgive me God if my actions exposed him in some way. He seemed so concerned about his friend. My heart broke as he started to cry.

Who am I to question the actions of the high priests and elders? I am only me - they know such much more and ... well... I pray you will guide them, and that they will seek wisdom from you. Does you heart break when you hear people crying like this man? When a rabbi like the one from Nazareth is accused and threatened with death? Do you hurt for them the way I do?

Amen

 

In the Courtyard by the Fire

A few months ago - maybe last year sometime - I took a class from BeADisciple called Reading the New Testament with Fresh Eyes.  One of the Bible study methods we explore was an Ignatian Method.  At the time, I wrote a post about it here.

This morning, I spent some times reading from Rachel Billups' book, An Unlikely Lent. I'm on the second chapter; it focuses on the servant girl who accuses Peter of following Jesus. As I read that chapter, the Ignatian Method came to mind. There are a few questions in that method that I think can "take us into" the scripture. 

For this exploration, I'm reading Mark 14:66-72

Picture the scene....What is the setting? Who are the people in the scene? What can be seen, heard, or smelled in the scene?  It's helpful to read Mark 14's previous verses. Peter has followed Jesus to the courtyard of the high priest. While Jesus is on trial in front of the chief priests, elders, and scribes, Peter is in the courtyard, sitting near the fire with the guards. I imagine it is the time of day that is still night but poised on the edge of sunrise. The light would have been inadequate to make out details, but just beginning to hint at the day to come. The fire would have cast shadows around the courtyard.

Peter would be able to hear the guards talking and the conversations of anyone else who enters into the courtyard. Were they talking about what was going on? Was Jesus well known enough for their to be speculation among those gathered regarding what was happening? Could they hear the questioning? Jesus' answer of "I am"? Could they hear blows striking as they beat Jesus? What about when they condemned him to death?

The courtyard would have been full of the scent of the burning fire and of the men around it. I imagine they could have smelled the fear as Peter sat with them, sweating and afraid.  This man of action probably couldn't have set very still - his feet would have been shuffling and his hands would have been moving around each other and across his beard, clothes, and hair.

And when the servant approached him, and asked him if he were a follower of Jesus, would he have sprung guiltily to his feet? Or tried to maintain calmness by staying in his place by the fire? All those around him would have heard the question and his answer. Unless he had a "poker face" I think he would have looked startled and afraid.

As I write this, I am sitting in my living room, and I can hear a rooster outside. (The neighborhood rooster crows all the time - just annoying). They are not quiet birds, so that crow would have been loud and unmistakable. Peter would have remembered what Jesus told him about his betrayal. His fear would have been compounded now by the guilt that was just under the surface as he started to cry - maybe now leaving the fire to hide.