Prayer Thoughts

I'm reading a sermon by John Wesley called "Upon our Lord's Sermon on the Mount."  There are several of these sermons - the one I am currently reading is Discourse VI.  It is based on Matthew 6:1-15.  This part of the sermon on the mount speaks to doing alms and praying in such a way as to not be seen doing them.

In section two, Wesley writes:

Hypocrisy then, or insincerity, is the first thing we are to guard against in prayer.  Beware not to speak what thou does not mean.  Prayer is the lifting up of the heart to God: all words of prayer without this are mere hypocrisy.

One evening several years ago, I was in a Bible study class.  We were spending the evening talking about prayer.  I was asked to pray for our political leaders.  In general, I think this is a good thing to do, so I agreed.  I was praying, moving through layers of government, when I came to a leader whose actions and character I cannot abide.  I verbally stopped the prayer, involuntarily.  I felt as if I could not pray for this person.

I was reminded of another verse in this same section of Matthew: 5:43-45:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be children of your Father in heaven, for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the gentiles do the same? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

So, if I combine these thoughts, I should pray for those who persecute me (this person does not persecute me, but still), and I must do it with sincerity.  How do we do that? 

That evening, I just continued, and prayed for the person who often disgusts me after confessing, in the prayer, to God, how hard it was.  Did I do it with sincerity?  I doubt it. Do I think it fulfilled Jesus' command in Matthew 5? Probably not.

So what is the answer?  I think the answer is to pray the truth.  It might be harder to do in a public prayer, but in our private prayers, we should pray about our inability to pray for a person.  To lift that up to God in truth.  I think that is sincere, and I also think that God may show us a way to prayer FOR that person, as well - either in spite of our feelings, or through them.