Apologies

We've talked in one of our book study classes about forgiveness. I tried to convince the class members that forgiveness isn't about the person who is being forgiven; it's mainly about the person who has been hurt. Forgiveness offers grace to the one who needs healed.

So what is the relationship between repentance and forgiveness?

Why apologize?

There's nothing magic about it. There's no golden key that unlocks forgiveness. Why, when we feel that we have done something wrong, do we take the time to apologize, even if the one we think has been hurt says that the pain doesn't exist?

• Relationship restoration: Sin separates us from God. It's an old Bethel Bible theme. If something is standing between two people, an apology can help to lift that item out of the way, and help to heal the relationship.
• Healing:If forgiveness can help to heal the one who was hurt, repentance can help to heal the one who has done wrong. Sin brings pain to both parties; both need a means of grace.
• Growth: There is an element of transformation in the acknowledgment of a wrong. Just like when an alcoholic admits to a problem, he moves farther away from the power of the alcohol. When we admit the presence of a sin, we take a step toward being more Christ-like -- a step away from sin.

So what is the relationship between an apology and forgiveness? Neither one is dependant on the presence of the other. I do think, though, that there is a special kind of grace involved when apology is met by forgiveness, and when forgiveness is enabled by apology. We bring God to each other.