Forgive who?

I talked yesterday about forgiveness -- am I starting to sound like a broken record? It's such an integral part to Christianity, and it is on my mind because of our Wednesday night class.

Yesterday's question was, "Is there forgiveness?" Today I want explore the idea of its availability.

There is a song sung by Relient K called Who I am Hates who I've Been.

Let's go through a verse or two and the chorus, and I share my thoughts about them.

'Cause I don't want you to know where I am
'Cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try to and live my life.
Have you been in that place? Have you experienced the realization that where you are is not where you should try to live your life? Did that realization include a face to face confrontation with the mistakes that you have made? I wonder if God brings us to those moments in an effort to make us SEE -- in an effort to encourage us to turn around (I've got a post about repentance boiling around in my head).

Stop right there, that's exactly where I lost it
See that line, where I never should have crossed it
Stop right there, where I never should have said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back
Have you been there? I know I have. Are there moments in your life that you could point to and say, "I wish I had never crossed THAT line."? Are there moments in your life that you wish that you could take back? Absolutely.

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to never become that way again
Regret. We all feel it. We all experience it. I wonder if perhaps it is a sign of growth. I wonder if regret means that we have matured enough, either mentally, emotionally or spiritually to recognize that we have made mistakes, and even more importantly, to wish that we had not.

'Cause who I am hates who I've been
who I am hates who I've been.
There. Right there. Go back and read that again. That's the moment in the song when I say, "Whoa. Back the truck up." Who I am hates who I've been.I might be pretty disgusted with who I've been, and wish that I had done a better job at it, but we all need to realize that God loved who I was, just as much as he loves who I am now. He loves who I was enough to wish that I would change. Enough to work on me to help me to change. And if God loves who I was, then who am I to quibble with his judgment?

That's when forgiveness comes in. That's the point when we forgive ourselves for who we've been. I think that that self-forgiveness frees us to move into who we will become. It's important, and it takes grace.

Image: Trees and sun this morning at the VA.