Of Butterflies and Parenting

Parenting. It's a maze. It's a trip for which you know the destination, but no one bothers to give you a map. It's a roller coaster. Before I list any more cheesy but true metaphors, I'll give you two comments from my boys that happened this weekend:

• We were in Lexington on Saturday. We decided to stop at one of the larger malls in the city. This mall has, as one of its anchors, a Dick's Sporting Goods, which, to the amazement of all three of my guys, is two stories. So, while we were parking, G asked, "Is this the mall with the two-story dick?" (I kid you not; he was totally serious, and had no idea what he had said.)
• Today at dinner, J (the younger one) was telling us about school. He told us that in math, they were learning to simplify "Dolly Parton" fractions. Apparently his teachers have told him that fractions which are bigger in the numerator (the top number) than the denominator (the bottom number) are "Dolly Parton" fractions. Math is an every day part of my life, and I've never heard that particular phrase, but J will never forget what a "Dolly Parton" fraction is, although he may not remember that they are actually called "improper fractions."

Anyway, I was thinking about parenting today, worried about whether I am doing a good job of it or not. I know that there are major decisions we make with and for our children that can change the paths of their lives. I know those kind of decisions are scary and huge, but that's not what's worrying me today. Today I'm seeing parenting as a compilation of tiny decisions. One small decision after the next. Today I'm worrying about the sum effects of each seemingly inconsequential decision. Nothing major has happened. No earth-shattering decisions like where I will raise my children or what schools they will attend or what church to take them to have come up today. Today seems to have been a string of smaller choices. How much homework help do I give the younger one? How much freedom do I give the older one?

I participated in a class a few years ago (in church) about Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of these habits is to "begin with the end in mind." That's great advice, and I try to follow it. But how do I predict the effect of something that seems inconsequential, but probably isn't? How do I predict the "butterfly" effect of a decision? Ever heard of the butterfly effect? Two definitions:

1. The "Butterfly Effect", or more technically the "sensitive dependence on initial conditions", is the essence of chaos.
2. A pretty bad movie with Ashton Kutcher -- "change one thing; change everything."

I was told today in Sunday school that I think too much. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't think at all. Right now, I'm going to choose option #2 (and go watch some mindlessly entertaining TV), and not worry about whether I've used affect and effect correctly in this post.

But I'll never stop worrying about this parenting thing.