Jesus and Grief

I remember years ago that a minister who attended our church taught a Sunday school lesson on grief. He said that we can experience grief over the loss of anything. Think about that. One of his examples were the first scratch on a new car. I don't mean to compare the grief we experience over a scratch with the grief a mourning parent feels over the loss of a child, and I don't think David (the minister) meant to make that comparison, either, but the emotion of grief is not reserved for what we feel when someone dies.

Peter (see yesterday's post) provides several examples of when Jesus experienced grief, and what motivated that emotion.

• Jesus' experience of grief was linked to compassion. Wallace says that the Greek root of the word compassion means "love, tender concern, and grief." That resonated for me. Often our compassion for someone else is linked to grief at their situation.
• Jesus experienced grief in reaction to what religious leaders were doing. I asked the class if they could think of modern examples of this; all of the examples they gave were connected to the government, which surprised me (not that I don't agree with them). I was thinking modern examples might include how some churches might exclude from the community those who are divorced, or those who have a different sexual orientation. I think of churches that don't allow women to have leadership roles. 
• Jesus experienced grief when he was sad. The best example would probably be when he cries at Lazarus's tomb. I always surprised when people try to explain this away. Why wouldn't we expect him to be saddened by the death of a friend?

Another ah-ha moment for me in the chapter is the paragraph Peter writes about the beatitude: "'Blessed are those who grieve, for they will be comforted.' Of the nine Greek words used for grief in the Christian scriptures, the word used here is the harshest emotionally. This is the heart-wrecking, soul-rattling sort of mourning for those who are dead, a grief over the most intense loss."  I think we can find solace in both the idea that Jesus experienced that kind of grief (think of him standing outside of Lazarus's tomb, or retreating to be by himself after the death of John the Baptist) and that God is present with us even in that heart-wrenching time in our lives.

Potentially Fatal Compassion

Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it's like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.  (Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking)

Two parts of this quote struck me this morning. 

1. Have you ever considered that compassion has the capacity to be fatal? Of course, we know that it does, but I've never seen it expressed just like that before (that's one of the reasons I love reading Buechner's work).  When white people from the north went south during the 60's to join with African Americans seeking equal rights, they had potentially fatal compassion. They knew there would be no joy or peace for any of us until all of us had it, and some of them lost their lives in the effort. Likewise, the African Americans who kept their seat on buses or walked across bridges, or stood up for the rights they were being denied had compassion - not just for their family and friends, but for those who would come after them - there would be no peace for them until there was peace for all. And for some, it was fatal compassion.
2. Christ had fatal compassion for us. He died, knowing that there would be no peace for God until there was peace for  us. 

Where in your life do you need to express potentially fatal compassion? What are you willing to allow to die so that someone else will experience peace and joy, knowing that you will not have it until everyone has it?

Peter Storey Notes

Early in August, Peter Storey preached at our church. As I listened to the sermon, I took some notes.  Rather than expend on them, I thought I would list them here.  Perhaps something in them will spark something in you, the reader. Peter's sermon is available on our church website.

• We need to learn the difference between doing church and being the church. It is harder to be the church.  In order to be the church, we need what only God can do.
• There is a big industry around doing the church.  Is any of it about "Changing the world?"  Most of it is about saving the church - we have become obsessed with the survival of the church.
• The world only changes when the church gets broken.
• The paralytic had become the heart burden of his four friends.  We can't be Church until we make that space in ourselves.  Can our hearts be broken enough to let the different one, the needy one, the enemy fall in.  Only then does compassion take up residence in our hearts - only then can we stop doing church and be the church.
• Church is about learning that you can't have Jesus without his friends.
• Compassion is rooted deep within our gut.  We have to feel it, deep down in our gut.  When we feel that, we stop worrying about the presentation of ourselves, our possessions and our church, and we put the other first.
• That's what happened to these four friends, but the church got in the way.
• Everyone had their backs turned to the man.  This is almost our default position.
• Even with Jesus preaching, it was time for something more important.  Compassion shouldn't surprise us when it damages church property.  It should push us to act.  Radical hospitality can break open a church.

Compassion

In Sunday school last week, we discussed the story of the Good Samaritan.  Read this part of the passage, as found in the Common English Bible:

A Samaritan, who was on a journey, came to where the man was.  But when he saw him, he was moved with compassion."  (Luke 10:33)

Did you know that the word compassion has its root meaning in "to suffer with."  The Samaritan suffered with the man on the road.  We are called to do the same.

As Easter approaches, we will travel through "Passion Sunday" - the Sunday (also known as Palm Sunday) when we remember how Jesus suffered with us through his own suffering.  As we seek to follow the example of the Good Samaritain, we have an even better role model - Christ.

How in your life - in my life - today can we show compassion?  It's not feeling sorry for someone; its a deeper, stronger response.  Compassion is stepping into that person's life and experiencing it, and then responding to that with love.

May we have compassion today.