Criticism

Criticism was (during the time of Aristotle) a social conversation between people who all risked owning and sharing their ideas for the sake of building knowledge.  For criticism to be useful, you have to have some skin in the game. (Brene Brown, Rising Strong).

And one more:

Personal emotional attacks made by people not engaged in problem-solving have zero value in building or creating anything - they're only an attempt to tear down and invalidate what others are attempting build, with no meaningful contribution to replace what has been destroyed. (Brene Brown, Rising Strong).

How do you feel about criticism? No, I don't like it either. I don't like to give it, and I don't like to receive it. Yet, if you read these two quotes, it may be that we have a poor understanding - or a poor experience - with criticism.

Listen to some of these phrases about what criticism should be: "for the sake of building knowledge," "all risked owning and sharing," "have to have skin in the game."

And then here are some about what criticism should not be: "personal emotional attacks," "not-engaged in problem solving," "an attempt to tear down," "no meaningful contribution to replace what has been destroyed."

How do we love through our criticism? How do we transform the hurtful parts of criticism into something where both parties are vulnerable and both parties benefit?