Reassurance of Love

I spoke yesterday about lectures by Dr. Joe Dongell about holiness. I wrote about waiting expectantly in the means of grace. Another way that Dr. Dongell suggests that we can live in the reality of knowing the transforming power of God is to ask God to completely reassure us of his love.

Do we trust God? Do we believe that he has the best in mind for us? Do we feel that we can place our lives in his hands? Are we willing to surrender all that we are, all that we have, all that we might become to his control?

Dongell says that “we can surrender all we want, but I suspect that it is psychologically and spiritually impossible to surrender fully to someone we are afraid of.”

Are you afraid of God? Am I? I think in many ways, we are brought up to fear God. As children, we are taught that Santa will bring toys to good children and coal to bad ones. We are taught that Santa’s love is conditional on our good behavior.

We make a terrible connection between good behavior and love, and that connection is proven over and over again in our lives around other humans. Treat me well, and I will love you. Treat me poorly, and I will walk away. There are very few people in our lives who “stick,” even through the times when we hurt them. We are raised in a “conditional love” culture.

In church, we are taught to follow the 10 commandments – good behavior, defined. We make a link in our minds that we must be good in order for God to love us. If we are not careful, we teach it to our children.

And then we go to an adult Sunday school class or bible study, and we are told, “Grace is a gift. It is given to you no matter what you do. God loves you, and it doesn’t depend upon anything you do at all.” Is it any wonder that we have a hard time believing that? Fear of God is more comfortable. It gives me some control to try to “be good,” instead of just trusting God to love me no matter what.

The problem is that if we want God to transform our lives, we must change our focus from what is internal to what is outside of us. We must give up that need for control, and just accept the gift of grace. We cannot do it if we are afraid of God.

As. Dr. Dongell suggests, we must ask God to give us a “full assurance of his love.” Only then, once we know God is love and grace, will we let go of “ourselves” and accept a life lived in God. We will then begin that walk of transformation to who God has created us to be.