Love Language

I went to a baby shower on Saturday. One of the "activities" we shared was to write advice on an index card for the mom-to-be. Most of the advice was pretty interesting -- have you ever used scented spray room freshener as "monster repellent?" Spray it to scare away monsters, and the child can continue to smell the "repellent," knowing that it will keep working. Smart. My, "J -- there is not a skeleton hanging outside your window" didn't work that well.

But, really, when you think about it, parents who have more than one child know that each child is different. What works with one, may not work with another. We know this as parents.

We also know this a teachers. We've finally come to accept that different children (and adults) learn differently -- some need to read the information, some need to watch it, and some need to do it. When I teach a particularly difficult procedure to a "fellow" in the lab, I print out the procedure for him. Then I do it while he watches, explaining each step and answering questions. Then I step back and have him do it, answering more questions as they come up. This usually works to make sure that the fellow is comfortable enough to do the procedure on his own.

A friend said to me the other day that when he listens to music, he doesn't really hear the words; he hears the "music" -- the tune and the instruments, not the vocals. When I listen to music, the tune -- rhythm, beat, melody -- are important, but its the words that I focus on. In fact, I don't feel like I "own" the song until I can sing it in the car. I love how really good writers of lyrics can use words to express an idea, sometimes in ways that can surprise me (I love a good surprise in a song). I asked S the same question, and he's kind of in between.

I read a post from see-through faith the other day. (I reference Lorna's blog a lot. Can you tell I really enjoy it?). She received the book The Love Languages of God by Gary Chapman as a gift, and she says this:

Basically Chapman's premise is that each of us have a particular love language:

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• gifts
• acts of service
• physical touch

And just in the same way as we show love to people and receive love from them, we best respond to God's love for us, when He uses our particular love language.

We each have a different love language -- a different way to receive love from other people and from God. I have a feeling that God knows the "love language" of each of us. Maybe we need to spend some time figuring it out -- how can God best communicate with us? Will we hear him best in quiet, quality time? In acts of service?

Knowing this, we also need to know that the way which works best for me won't work for you, so if I need to communicate love to someone else, would an act of service work best? Words of affirmation? It take work, doesn't it?

Saying all this, take it one step further. Consider this theory in the light of worship. If we take a moment to think of worship as a time of communion with God, then we must accept that each of us hears God using a different love language. There is no point in calling one way better than another, but only in understanding that there are different ways to hear God. Do you hear Him in organ music? In visual arts? In fellowship with other people? In vocal acapella solos? In ritual? In preaching? In quiet, silent prayers? In community prayers?

And are you certain that the way that you think you hear God in worship is the only way you can hear Him? Is it at all possible that if you try something new, you might find a way that works even better for you?

And if we can accept that your "love language" is different than mine, then can't we use them all, so that everyone can be reached? (I'm getting dangerously close to repeating myself (Heart Songs).

And can't we believe that God is multilingual -- that He can hear and understand all of the different "love languages" -- that it doesn't matter what the language is, He will understand the love it speaks? I can imagine that heart felt worship in as many love languages as possible sounds like a beautiful symphony to God, and makes His heart smile.

Go to the Smallest Angel to read a story about my son J that really made MY heart smile today.
Image: Another one from the beach -- who wants to go here? Me! Me!