Passionate Conversation

The other day I was having a discussion with a pastor regarding applause during worship. It's a topic that I am passionate about, and one that I've had many discussions about, so I was a little "wound up" during out discussion.  I wasn't angry, and neither was he. I was just convinced. And passionate.

He said, "But you're not angry about this." I wasn't - and while I have some frustration around the issue, I wasn't angry, especially not with him, and I'm glad he knew that.

I was thinking about that conversation on the way to work. It's fun to have passionate conversations when you try to convince someone else of your view. At times - not yesterday, but other times - I regret my participation in the discussion, because I wonder if the other person thought I was angry, instead of convinced and passionate. I wonder if the other person had as much fun as I did.

Thinking about that this morning, I think it might be gender related. Women who are passionate - or even angry - are not received the same way as men who are passionate or even angry. Do you think women are expected to humbly agree rather than argue? And is it possible that when they don't fall into line, they are judged for being witchy (or another word that rhymes with that one)?  Men aren't seen that way.

There are times when after a conversation I enjoyed for its passion and insight, I realize I've stepped on someone else's toes. I've either shown my expertise or I've shown my opinion. That wasn't what was wanted by the other person.

Or there are times when I'm more reluctant, and I say things like, "Well, what do I know, but...." or "I could be wrong, but..." I act self-deprecating, and I know it's because I'm a woman - and I'm a smart woman - and sometimes that is not what society (or the person in front of me) wants me to be.

Too bad.