The peace of the struggle

VBS Theme #2: God speaking to us through our conscience -- wrong steps Does anybody besides me think that our VBS themes are a little broad?

Anyway, as I was thinking about this one today, I was reminded of the book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Of course, when I went to pick it off the bookshelf this evening, the book wasn't where it was supposed to be. Consequently, I know that I'm going to get some of this wrong.

C.S. Lewis says "First, that human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and cannot really get rid of it. Secondly, that they do not in fact behave in that way. They know the Law of Nature; they break it. These two facts are the foundation of all clear thinking about ourselves and the universe we live in." We have a basic sense of right and wrong, and even in different cultures, the basics of this belief are the same.

This "theme" for VBS states that God is speaking to us through our conscience. I'm not sure that I agree with that, or maybe I think that what we want to call conscience is really this "awareness" of God that Lewis is talking about. Does God speak to us through our conscience? Or through His spirit?

It's interesting to me that on the day when I'm thinking about conscience and wrong steps, the topic of the sermon at Common Grounds was the gift of peace. I remember years ago -- BC (before children) -- an older lady that I had known for years, even before I started coming to our church, and who is a member of our church, said to me, "But you know, real peace comes from God." I just nodded my head and said something like, "Yes." Witty, aren't I? I remember thinking that I had no idea what she was talking about. It's taken me years to even get an inkling of what she was talking about.

There is a peace, though, in feeling that your decisions are leading you down a path that God wants you to take. There is also, oddly enough, a sense of "unpeace" (I just made that up) when one is taking wrong steps.

Years ago -- again, BC -- our church started the Bethel Bible program. It began with a teacher's class. This class was designed to teach church members how to be teachers in the program. I felt like I should join the class. I just had this nagging feeling that I should be walking down that path, but the class started, and I didn't join it. About a year later, a second teacher's class started. Again with the nagging feeling, and that time I listened. Joining that Bethel teacher's class started me on the path I travel now as an adult Sunday school teacher. I can in no way mare how much I've learned as a teacher. I KNOW that this is one of the things that I am supposed to be doing.

I mentioned in a previous post that at the end of last year I resigned my chairmanship of the committee that I had been working with for several years. It was a decision that I had thought about for a year, and when I made it, I felt comfortable with it. And yet, once I had done it, I could find absolutely no peace with it. I think it was a wrong step.

One night, while I continued to struggle with that decision, I was out walking the dog. S was out of town; it was just Molly (our beagle) and me, walking in the dark. Finally, I asked myself, "What would happen if I kept the job?" I think that may have been the first time I ever understood what she had meant by peace. I called S while I was walking, "What if I kept it? What if I stayed as chairman?" The next morning I emailed Joe. It was the first time I had felt peaceful with the decision since I had resigned in the fall. Luckily, I had been able to retrace my steps.

God walks with us, and works with us as we make our decisions in life. Sometimes it's a struggle. Sometimes it feels like wrestling. It doesn't sound very peaceful, but the fruit of the struggle is peace -- a gift from God. In the end, aren't we glad? The opposite of a God who will wrestle with us is a God who is disinterested. Which would we rather have?

Extra: I found this quote this evening, peeking around on the internet -- From the Holocaust museum in Washington -- Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.

Image: Meet Brigadoon, my favorite rose bush. It will bloom for us for a week or two, and then bugs will devour it until September, when one or two more buds will appear. Alternatively, I'll asphyxiate myself while spraying it with bug spray, and it will bloom for three weeks prior to being devoured.